The "Piaget" Beer Gauge:  Don't Get Short Poured
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Useful Quotes, Conversion Factors, and The Origin

On this page we list useful quotes, conversion factors, and explanations of the origins of the "Beer Gauge"

Useful Quotes

Below are useful quotes. These are quotes that have been collected over the years. The sources of a lot of these quotes are unknown. Thus, we apologize for not giving adequate citations and credit. If anyone knows the source for any of these quotes, please let us know and we will give credit where credit is due.

Enjoy these:

  1. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. – Benjamin Franklin 
  2. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
  3. Friends don’t let friends drink light beer.
  4. Life is TOO short to drink cheap beer.
  5. He was a wise man who invented beer. – Plato
  6. Multi-million dollar ad campaigns do not make a beer taste better.
  7. If God wanted us to filter beer he wouldn’t have given us livers.
  8. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
  9. From man’s sweat and God’s love, beer came into the world. – St. Arnoldus
  10. Beer, it’s not just for breakfast anymore.
  11. You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.  – Frank Zappa
  12. Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.  – Kaiser
  13. Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
  14. Work is the curse of the drinking class.
  15. The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. – Humphrey Bogart
  16. Beer is the cause of and the solution to all the worlds' problems.
  17. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
  18. A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. – W. C. Fields
  19. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I need to buy you another beer?
  20. Like all men, I like head, but not on my $8 pint. – Dude at Airport Bar
  21. Always do sober what you said you would do drunk.
  22. People who don’t drink don't live longer. It only seems longer.
  23. Rehab is for quitters.
  24. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
  25. Dry hopping is not a teenage sexual practice.
  26. Beer can subsitute as food, but food CAN NOT subsitute as beer.  
  27. Draft beer, not students.
  28. I drink to make other people interesting.  –George Jean Nathan
  29. I quote, I can’t make this up: Your beer gauge will not work at our Bar because our “pint” glasses range from 14 oz to 20 oz.  –Clueless bartender at local pub.

  30. Physics is like sex. Sure it has a useful purpose, but that's not why we do it.  – Richard Feynman
  31. To not know math is a severe limitation to understanding the world.  – Richard Feynman

Please send us your quotes and we will add them to the list.

Useful Conversion Factors
    1)   1 US pint = 16 oz.
    2)   1 US pint = 0.47 Liters
    3)   1 US pint = 0.83 Imperial pint
    4)   1 Imperial pint = 19.2 oz.
    5)   1 Bomber = 22 oz
    6)   speed of light = 299,792,458 m/s=186,282.4 miles/s

         More to come!

The Origins of the "Beer Gauge"

Why, might you ask, did we bring these international scientists together to develop this incredible beer gauge? The story goes like this:

After an unusually hard day at work, I embarked to the happy hour at my favorite brew pub in town. I should add that (not that I am rubbing it in) I live in a town of about 100,000 people and we have eight different brew pubs to choose from. My favorite of the lot brews a very good Belgian style Trappist ale and to beat it all, this heavenly nectar is only $2.00 a pint during happy hour. I sat at the bar and ordered a pint. The brew master of the pub, who was acting as the bartender at the time, informed me that they had none of the Belgian ale on tap. They had run out. He then indicated that he did have a few bombers remaining of the Belgian ale that he had bottled a while back. 

I need to add a few technical points. Let us refresh our memories by recalling that a bomber contains 22 oz. of beer and a standard US pint contains 16 oz. It will be clear later that these few technical points are key to the unfolding story.

Back to the story: Once the brew master informed me that they had no Belgian ale on tap there were a few moments of silence, as I needed to collect my thoughts. As we know, beer from the tap is a different organism than that in the bottle, and I just spent the entire afternoon at work thinking of the Belgian nectar flowing from the tap. Once I was able to speak again, I asked if I could get the bomber at the happy hour price. Recall that pints (or 16 oz.) cost $2.00 during happy hour. We then had the follow most interesting exchange of words: 

The brew master: “No, but the bombers are only $5.00”.

I said: “But it is Happy Hour, so can I get a break off the normal bomber price of $5.00?"

The brew master then stated (I quote, because I cannot make this crap up): “$5.00 is a good price: besides, a bomber contains almost two pints”. 

I then looked him in the eyes and said: “How do you figure that?”

He replied (I quote again): “When you pour beer from a bomber into two pint glasses, both are almost full.” 

I then said: “You're joking, right?”

He replied: "No, when you pour beer from a bomber into two pint glasses, both are almost full.” 

I said: “You are confused about the volumes you are seeing. The taper in the pint glass makes it appear as if the pint glasses are almost full”

He looked at me and said: “You are confused.  It's an optical illusion” 

I was almost as speechless as I was when they informed me that the Belgian ale was not on tap, but I continued: “Do you really think that? A bomber contains 22 oz. and two pints contain 32 oz.  A bomber is not even 1½ pints of beer. Thus, how can you make that statement?” 

Bartender: “What do you want to drink?”

At this point I realized that some individuals had Piaget's syndrome; that is, the height of the beer in the glass made more of a visual impact on them than the width of the glass (see the Who was Piaget page). For the next few weeks, at different bars around town and around the country (I travel a lot for my real job), I took note of bartenders who served less then a full pint of beer. I became aware that bartenders around the world were experiencing Piaget's syndrome and having issues with filling pint glasses. I then asked myself: “Are bartenders sloppy at pouring my favorite micro-brew, or are they just trying to increase their profit margins?” I knew it was my duty to pull a team of international scientists together (these types of people are a dime a dozen and roam the halls at my real job) and design and develop the next revolutionary breakthrough in science, the “Beer Gauge”. The rest is history, spelled out on this website. 

Note: In this story we have no names in order to protect the guilty.

Remember:Keep your bartender honest” and Order your very own “Beer Gauge” today (ordering information). 


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